Hurt people hurt peopleWe all know one. A person who just isn’t very nice or one that is perpetually difficult. This person can be a colleague, someone that works at your doctor’s office, or even a family member. (Truth bomb: If you don’t know this person, it could be you 😉).
Here’s the thing, most people don’t wake up and think, “I want to be difficult and unkind today”. We all want to be loved and to have a sense of belonging. It is a basic human need. No one aims to be disliked or excluded.
When people are rude, difficult, overbearing, or just plain mean, try to remember the following:
Hurt people hurt people. It’s not an excuse, but it is an explanation and one that allows us to see people through a lens of compassion instead of judgment. You can still be frustrated, you can create distance between yourself and this person, or can choose to not have them in your life.
We behave like the person we think we are. It is impossible to behave in a way that is inconsistent with the way we see ourselves. If someone has self-hatred or isn’t happy, they will behave that way toward others, often unintentionally. We have blindspots when it comes to our behavior, and often our intent gets lost in the process.
Conserve your mental and emotional energy. Each day, we have a certain amount of cognitive, emotional, and physical energy. Every decision, task, thought, and behavior withdraws energy. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for the day. Be deliberate about who or what receives that energy.
Focus on getting it right. When someone hurts or wrongs us, it is tempting to want to return the favor. Unfortunately, that does nothing to fix the situation and only frustrates you. What is your goal, and is what you’re doing getting you closer to reaching it? Rather than react, ask yourself, “What does getting it right look like”?
When you have a difficult person in your life, remember to focus on what you control. And while it’s not always easy, give people the benefit of the doubt and assume positive intent. The truth is that we are all doing the best we can with the resources we have available. If someone could behave better in that moment, they would.
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Create a habit of taking time to strategically stop throughout your day, check-in with yourself, and give your brain some time to process.
Here are 3 things you can do to strategically stop throughout your day:
1️⃣ Take a few deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus on extending the exhale. A deeply relaxed person takes 6-7 breaths a minute. When you change the way you breathe, you shift your emotional state.
2️⃣ Check-in with yourself. How are you feeling? What is causing you stress? Where in your body do you feel it? This mindfulness practice signals safety to your brain, helping to re-engage your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest).
3️⃣ Identify one small action you can take to adjust your mood and emotional state. It might be as simple as repeating a mantra like, “It is what it is” or “All I can do is all I can do. #MindfulMonday ... See MoreSee Less
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Wendy is always watching. Happy Friday from the ranch! 👀 ... See MoreSee Less
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She’s soooo cute
I look forward to your silly and sweet Wendy updates! ❤️ #ranchlife #goals
I love Wendy!!
Bring yourself back to the present.
📷: Repost Lewis Howes ... See MoreSee Less
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I definitely loved it!!! ❤️
Resting isn’t just about sleeping or binge-watching Netflix. Real rest involves disconnecting from the demands of the world to connect with yourself. It’s about finding activities that rejuvenate you – whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or simply sitting in silence.
During rest, the body undergoes tissue repair, muscle growth, and the release of hormones needed to maintain physical health and prevent illness and injury. Rest improves concentration, mental clarity, and creativity, and getting enough rest is linked to a lower risk of heart disease, stroke, obesity, and dementia.
We live in a society that glorifies busyness, where being overworked is worn as a badge of honor. But busy doesn’t equal productive. Busy equals exhaustion. Rest improves our productivity, not detracts from it. 🙏 ... See MoreSee Less
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I'm on permanent rest status now - i worked nonstop 40 years for state of TX and finally RETIRED!!!
Strong negative emotional reactions such as anger, fear, and frustration can damage your health when they become how you habitually react. They also disrupt your productivity and creativity, and can harm your relationships.
Where in your life are you most reactive? Is it at home? Work? With a specific issue or person?
#MindfulMonday ... See MoreSee Less
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Drop a ♥️ in the comments and tag a friend who you want to send a smile. ... See MoreSee Less
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Raising a child with mental illness and Autism has been my resilience-building breeding ground. We began therapy when Evan was just 11-months old, and he has been in one form of therapy or another ever since. The lessons we have learned from countless therapists have been invaluable.
It’s hard to believe that Evan is turning 21 this month! I am so incredibly proud of the fact that he still asks me to share his story. He understands the shame and stigma attached to mental illness and Autism and wants to help change that. As a mom, this is my proudest accomplishment.
On the days when I doubt my own strength, I look back on the lessons I’ve learned (and the ones I’m still learning). #WorldAutismMonth
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Lessons I’ve Learned From Raising a Child With Autism
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Raising a child with mental illness and Autism has been my resilience-building breeding ground. We began therapy when Evan was just 11-months old, and he has been in one form of therapy or another eve...3 CommentsComment on Facebook
Wearing my (autism awareness) pin this month! 💕
Wow!! You are an inspiration to many parents who struggle with this .. thank you!
You are amazing!!
In Fall of 2020, I got my first tattoo. I wanted something that conveyed strength, resilience, and peace. A symbol of all I’ve been through, a reminder to breathe and be in this moment, and to cultivate peace. ☮️
I found a symbol that captured everything I wanted to say. The symbol is an Unalome.
An Unalome represents our life’s path. It is a reminder of all we’ve been through, a symbol of mindfulness and peace, and if we do life right, our journey to enlightenment.
When I look down and see my tattoo, it reminds me to breathe, come back to the moment, and intentionally create peace, a feeling I desperately craved after years of the physical, mental, and emotional trauma that comes with raising a child with severe mental illness.
Whether it is an image you find online or one that you create for yourself, it’s helpful to have a visual reminder. Find or draw a symbol that gives you a daily reminder to focus on what is most important. ... See MoreSee Less
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Compass and guess who gave this to me?
I really needed this reminder that life is a journey with bumps but to breathe and center in the moments of challenges. Breathing in and out is sometimes all we can do.
Me too!!
I have one tattoo. I was 60 when I got it...probably one and done...but, mine is a visual reminder too and makes me smile every time I look at it.
Love this! 💛 I recently got this lil guy as a reminder to never lose that inner spark, that sense of wonder and joy I have for life and nature ✨
Thanks for sharing! 👍 If I ever get brave enough (🤣); I would do this ...
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