Hurt people hurt peopleWe all know one. A person who just isn’t very nice or one that is perpetually difficult. This person can be a colleague, someone that works at your doctor’s office, or even a family member. (Truth bomb: If you don’t know this person, it could be you 😉).
Here’s the thing, most people don’t wake up and think, “I want to be difficult and unkind today”. We all want to be loved and to have a sense of belonging. It is a basic human need. No one aims to be disliked or excluded.
When people are rude, difficult, overbearing, or just plain mean, try to remember the following:
Hurt people hurt people. It’s not an excuse, but it is an explanation and one that allows us to see people through a lens of compassion instead of judgment. You can still be frustrated, you can create distance between yourself and this person, or can choose to not have them in your life.
We behave like the person we think we are. It is impossible to behave in a way that is inconsistent with the way we see ourselves. If someone has self-hatred or isn’t happy, they will behave that way toward others, often unintentionally. We have blindspots when it comes to our behavior, and often our intent gets lost in the process.
Conserve your mental and emotional energy. Each day, we have a certain amount of cognitive, emotional, and physical energy. Every decision, task, thought, and behavior withdraws energy. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for the day. Be deliberate about who or what receives that energy.
Focus on getting it right. When someone hurts or wrongs us, it is tempting to want to return the favor. Unfortunately, that does nothing to fix the situation and only frustrates you. What is your goal, and is what you’re doing getting you closer to reaching it? Rather than react, ask yourself, “What does getting it right look like”?
When you have a difficult person in your life, remember to focus on what you control. And while it’s not always easy, give people the benefit of the doubt and assume positive intent. The truth is that we are all doing the best we can with the resources we have available. If someone could behave better in that moment, they would.
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Indeed! Trying to hold a plank….
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Anne, I love your shirt! That music brings me joy and peace when I am stressed. ✨💗
Your videos enjoying your ranch and animals brings me joy.
Down time with family and friends, for sure!
Sunshine 🌞
Excellent advice Anne, thank you!
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You’re actually doing better than more than 90% of the human population on this planet. Be grateful.
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Ok, that looks FUN! I hope you got the “speaker discount” 🤣