Videos & Podcasts

The Most Important Kindness Practice Of All

Would you let a total stranger into your house so they could steal all your stuff? Of course not!

Well, guess what? You do this every single day, and the person sabotaging you is…YOU!

When a friend makes a mistake, do you berate them? Belittle them? Yell at them? No. Then why in the world would you reserve that treatment for yourself? There are plenty of people who are kind and compassionate toward others but go for the total knockout when it comes to how they treat themselves.

We don't often give ourselves the grace or the common decency that we would show a stranger on the street.

This month I've been sharing the science behind kindness and compassion. We have explored how being kind can strengthen your immune system, reduce stress, and improve well-being. Unfortunately, you can’t practice true kindness and compassion with others if you don’t start with yourself. This has been a hard nut to crack for me, and it’s one I work on daily.

In order to actively and intentionally give yourself grace, protect your peace, and build resilience practice these 3 strategies daily:

1. Start with the way you talk to yourself about yourself.

I talk a lot about communication in business and in relationships, but in this case, it has to start with how you communicate TO yourself ABOUT yourself. It’s difficult to see the world in a way that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself. If you’re sending yourself messages like “I’m not good enough” and “I’m unhappy”, you start to find those things because we find what we look for. Building resilience starts with self-compassion. Blaming our actions rather than our character allows us to feel guilt instead of shame. In his book, "Resilient", Dr. Rick Hanson asks, “What would you do if you were on your own side?” Approach yourself with the same kindness you would show to a friend.

2. Quiet your mind.

Our brain is constantly changing and adapting based on the input we give it, and what we focus on grows. Shawn Achor, author of "The Happiness Advantage" and "Big Potential", notes that the first and last 30 minutes of the day are the times when you are most vulnerable to having your attention hijacked. During these times, your brain is not as easily able to prioritize information or place it into a greater context.

When it comes to taking care of yourself, take control of the first 30 minutes of your day. That means no social media, no news, and no email. Give yourself a fighting chance by taking control of your day before it takes control of you. Protect your most valuable resource – YOU.

3. Don’t believe everything you think.

Your thoughts and feelings are not facts; they are simply information. Rather than analyzing and judging why you are thinking and feeling a certain way, simply observe it. When you notice a self-sabotaging thought, stop and ask yourself two questions:

1. Do you know this to be true? And 2. Is this thought or emotion serving you?

Challenge self-defeating thoughts by deconstructing them, rather than getting stuck in them. This takes time and practice, but you’ll start to realize that you have developed self-defeating habits that are sabotaging your mental health.

Being kind to yourself is a hard job, but it is a requirement for resilience.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the Random Acts of Kindness Challenge! I hope you will continue practicing random acts of kindness and experiencing all the benefits (both physical and mental) that come with showing compassion to yourself and others.

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A Thanksgiving gratitude reminder!

It’s hard to believe it’s already time for Thanksgiving and before we know it 2022 will be here!

This is a great time to really put things in perspective. It’s the time of year when we get to look back, celebrate our accomplishments, re-focus on things we still want to accomplish, and be genuinely thankful for all of the good in our life.

Sometimes in order to gain perspective, we have to reset. Ask yourself, "What is most important and does the way I spend my time reflect that?" Take the time to make sure your actions match your intentions.

Need a little help?

Here is a 3-step process that you can use to literally rewire your brain by looking for the good stuff:

1. Look for it.
Last week we talked about What is right, right now?. Whether it is spending time with family or surviving time with family, take time to look for all the good.

2. Savor it.
When you experience a delicious moment, sit in that good feeling. It could be a belly laugh at a joke at the dinner table or extra whipped cream on your pumpkin pie. Whatever it may be, enjoy it and really take it in.

3. Express it.
Gratitude is contagious. Let the people around you know how you feel about them.

When you start looking for the right things, it’s amazing what you find. So this Thanksgiving, eat too much, laugh as often as possible, and cherish each moment and be thankful.

THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, to each and every one of you for being a part of my life. You make this journey incredible. Wishing you a healthy and Happy Thanksgiving!

And don’t forget…we are in the home stretch of the Random Acts of Kindness Challenge! Every single day for the month of November practice at least one random act of kindness. I want to know what they are! Comment on social using the hashtag #RandomActsChallenge, send me an email at [email protected], or subscribe to my YouTube channel and comment there.

Let’s make kindness go viral this month!

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Subscribe to the Anne Grady Group for more resilience-building tools and strategies! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU8s......

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Sign up for Anne's weekly Resilience Reset email list!
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More at https://www.annegradygroup.com​​​​
▶︎ Instagram: @AnneGradyGroup
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▶︎ New Book + Companion Journal: https://www.annegradygroup.com/books/...

What is right, right now?

What is one thing in your life that is right, right now?

Is your family healthy? Do you have someone that loves you? Are you safe?

Day-to-day life can be hard. There are stressors, to-do lists, chores, and more to do than time to do it. When we are in the middle of it all, it’s easy to find all of the things that are wrong.

Take your home for example. Whether you live in an apartment, house, or on a friend’s couch, it’s easy to look around and find all of the things that you wish were different. The walls might need to be painted, carpet might need to be replaced, or maybe you are dying to get rid of the wallpaper you’ve had since 1985. I’m sure you can look around and find quite a few things you wish were different.

But when was the last time you looked around your home or living space for the things that are right? Do you have electricity? Running water? A comfortable place to sit or sleep?

When we zero in on what’s right in our life, our brain begins to scan the environment for whatever is top of mind. If you’re looking for good stuff, you’re much more likely to find it. Doing this often will literally change the neural structure and function of your brain, offsetting your negativity bias, making you more likely to see what’s right in your life. It also produces dopamine and serotonin which will lift your mood, making it easier to find the good. You’ll find yourself in a positive spiral, rather than a negative one.

So, here is your assignment (should you choose to accept it):

Write the following on a piece of paper or a sticky note and display it somewhere you will see regularly (computer monitor, refrigerator, bathroom mirror, etc.): WHAT IS RIGHT, RIGHT NOW?

Since our brain was built to protect us and keep us safe, not make us happy, it is constantly looking around every corner to find what’s wrong. Unfortunately, we tend to find what we look for. This week, try looking for what’s right about your home, job, kids, family, and life.

Then next time you find something wrong, counter it by finding something that’s right.

Be intentional about finding the good in people and situations. Take notice of little moments, appreciate small gestures, and communicate your gratitude to others. The more specific, the better. Your brain becomes primed to start finding the good stuff out there, and there is plenty of it — even in difficult times.

One method I have for cultivating positive emotions is something I call “delicious moments.” You can increase the likelihood of positive emotions by taking time to savor them. Every time you sit in a positive moment, you embed it more deeply into the neural structure of your brain. Whether it is savoring the first sip of coffee, snuggling with your pups, sending a text of gratitude to a friend, or binging a new Netflix series, delicious moments are all around us if we just take time to experience them.

Subscribe to the Anne Grady Group for more resilience-building tools and strategies! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU8s......

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Sign up for Anne's weekly Resilience Reset email list!
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More at https://www.annegradygroup.com​​​​
▶︎ Instagram: @AnneGradyGroup
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▶︎ Facebook: Anne Grady Group
▶︎ New Book + Companion Journal: https://www.annegradygroup.com/books/...

Go Ahead, Make My Day...

Welcome to Week 2 of the Random Acts of Kindness Challenge!

After a very stressful travel week for our family, I had an opportunity to turn someone's day around, and this video shares how it ended up making mine better too.

If you watched my video from last week, I talked about the concept of a "helper's high". When you give to others selflessly without expecting anything in return, your brain releases dopamine, serotonin, and lots of other happy hormones that make you feel warm and tingly inside.

There has been a lot of research around this benefit of practicing kindness, including a 2005 review that found older adults who volunteer experience lower rates of depression, lower mortality rates, higher self-esteem, and greater functional ability than those who don't. The researchers also found these actions strengthened the resilience of those who performed them.

One of my favorite authors, Kelly McConigal, wrote a book called The Science of Compassion, and she calls this the "tend-and-befriend response." In her book, she says, "Caring for others triggers the biology of courage and creates hope."

We are all reeling from the emotions of navigating a global pandemic for almost two years. With so much volatility, uncertainty, and frustration, it is easy to feel hopeless.

It’s simple. Volunteer. Help someone in need. Call a friend or family member who may be struggling. I donate a portion of all my book proceeds to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Central Texas. Although I love being able to do this it's also selfish because it feels so good to know I am giving back.

Every single day for the month of November, practice at least one random act of kindness. I want to know what they are! Please share them with me in the comments on social media or email me at [email protected] We rarely know at the time what a huge impact a small act of kindness may have on someone's day or even someone's life.

Let's make kindness go viral this month!

Subscribe to the Anne Grady Group for more resilience-building tools and strategies! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU8s......

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Sign up for Anne's weekly Resilience Reset email list!
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More at https://www.annegradygroup.com​​​​
▶︎ Instagram: @AnneGradyGroup
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▶︎ Facebook: Anne Grady Group
▶︎ New Book + Companion Journal: https://www.annegradygroup.com/books/...

Announcing the Random Acts of Kindness Challenge!

In the past for the month of November, I've hosted a Gratitude Challenge. Remember the huge gratitude jar?! But this year, I want to try something a little different.

This year's challenge is going to be to practice a random act of kindness each day. Performing an act of kindness provides the single fastest momentary feeling of joy and well-being of any exercise ever tested.

In this video, I explain the neuroscience behind why practicing kindness is so powerful.

Studies have shown that participating in random acts of kindness may encourage others to "pay it forward" - and the cycle continues.

Here are just a few more ways that being kind can improve your overall physical health:

Kindness keeps your heart healthy - Studies have shown that being kind causes the release of oxytocin (and nitric oxide), which helps to expand your blood vessels and lower blood pressure.

Kindness makes you a happier human - When you are kind, your body releases endorphins that may help to elevate your mood.

Kindness keeps you young - Free radicals and inflammation, which are big contributors to the aging process, are reduced when you show love and kindness.

Being kind has been shown to strengthen your immune system and it can even bring down stress levels. You can’t provide good care for someone else when you’re highly stressed, so showing kindness to others automatically has a calming effect on our bodies.

Kindness truly is contagious - When you do something kind for someone, it is almost guaranteed that they will perform an act of kindness for someone else.

Your challenge for the month of November is to practice one act of kindness every single day, and I want to know what they are! Share them with me in the comments! Let's make kindness go viral this month!

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Subscribe to the Anne Grady Group for more resilience-building tools and strategies! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU8s......

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Sign up for Anne's weekly Resilience Reset email list!
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More at https://www.annegradygroup.com​​​​
▶︎ Instagram: @AnneGradyGroup
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▶︎ Facebook: Anne Grady Group
▶︎ New Book + Companion Journal: https://www.annegradygroup.com/books/...

One year ago tomorrow...

The last 20 months have been interesting, to say the least. While things might not have gone as we hoped or planned, it has certainly given us an opportunity to practice our resilience skills.

While there is no simple solution to the stress, anxiety, and fear we are facing, there are things we can do to continually bring ourselves back to what matters most in our lives. I wrote about these tools in my last book "Mind Over Moment: Harness the Power of Resilience" and the companion journal, which came out ONE YEAR ago tomorrow. I cannot believe it!

I remember this time last year going back-and-forth about whether or not I should release the books during the middle of a global pandemic, but I ultimately decided that these are skills, tools, and strategies that people need now more than ever. Check out this video to find out the other BIG reason I decided to release Mind Over Moment when I did.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support of Mind Over Moment over the last year. A portion of all my book proceeds go to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Central Texas, so by supporting me, you are also supporting mental health, education, and advocacy.

Mental health is more than just the absence of mental illness; it is proactively improving mental well-being. During this time of global uncertainty and instability, we have to make a concerted effort to protect our mental health and preserve our mental well-being.

This week (and every week), I challenge you to do something each day that supports your mental health. A walk outside, a bubble bath and good book, a snuggle with your kids or pets, lighting a candle while you do paperwork, a random act of kindness, and even just allowing yourself to daydream are all small activities that build mental well-being.

And if you haven’t had a chance to check out Mind Over Moment, you can get your copy in the link below!

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Subscribe to the Anne Grady Group for more resilience-building tools and strategies! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU8s......

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Sign up for Anne's weekly Resilience Reset email list!
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More at https://www.annegradygroup.com​​​​
▶︎ Instagram: @AnneGradyGroup
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▶︎ New Book + Companion Journal: https://www.annegradygroup.com/books/...

Stop Waiting For Someday

What have you told yourself you wanted to do someday?

In the midst of this global pandemic, my husband Jay and I have been able to reevaluate our priorities and strive to make daily decisions to move closer to our lighthouse. If you've ever heard me speak or read my newest book, "Mind Over Moment: Harness the Power of Resilience", you know what I'm referring to.

A lighthouse is anything that keeps you headed in the right direction, guiding you, your decisions, and your daily behavior.

When we get bogged down in a fixed mindset, we lose sight of our lighthouse. We get swept away by the waves of stress, fear, and anxiety.

But, if we choose to use this difficult time to build the understanding that resilience comes from believing we will emerge stronger on the other side, saying, ‘This is certainly not ideal, but what can I take from it?’, we are proactively cultivating a growth mindset. Here is some BIG news from the Grady’s, and how I am turning around my own fixed mindset!

Seeing challenges as opportunities allows you to use failure and fear as fuel to move forward. I tend to beat myself up about not being good at new things, but if you don't try stuff, how will you ever know if you love it or if you're good at it?

What have you always wanted to do “someday”? Here are a few ways to make today that day:

1. Put a stake in the ground.

2. Vocalize it – This helps you stay accountable and puts it out into the universe (don’t underestimate the power of this).

3. Visualize it – When we visualize something, we experience 60-90% of the same neural activity as when we experience it. Daydreaming is actually good for your brain, so allow yourself to daydream and visualize what you want.

4. Take action - A dream without action is just wishful thinking. What can you do to move the ball one step closer to the future you want?

Your mindset is your foundation for resilience. Constantly stretch yourself to learn new things, and when you inevitably fail, use it as an opportunity to work harder and smarter. Life is all about pushing yourself, risk-taking, and growing. Embrace someday today!

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Subscribe to the Anne Grady Group for more resilience-building tools and strategies! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU8s......

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Sign up for Anne's weekly Resilience Reset email list!
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More at https://www.annegradygroup.com​​​​
▶︎ Instagram: @AnneGradyGroup
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▶︎ New Book + Companion Journal: https://www.annegradygroup.com/books/...

I finally took my own advice

If you haven't been following along on my social channels, you may not know that we've checked off some pretty big boxes in the Grady household lately, including Evan graduating from high school!

We decided to celebrate and spent most of July driving through the mountains in Colorado. It was magical!

On our trip, I tried to disconnect from work as much as possible so that I could take in every sunset, cherish the time spent with Jay, and be extremely grateful for the accomplishments we've recently achieved as a family.

I finally took my own advice. I took time to reset, to gain perspective, and to step away from "busy".

Sometimes the only way to reset your perspective is to get some space. Here are 3 reminders for resetting:

1. Busy doesn't equal productive. Busy equals exhausted.
It is so easy to neglect the things that bring us joy and get caught up in being busy. People told me for years to take care of myself, take time off, and slow down. It turns out when you don't take time to practice self-care and take care of your most valuable resource (YOU), life has a way of doing it for you. Being busy also wears down your resilience, like your car running on fumes when you run the tank down too low. You hit a bump in the road and next thing you know, you're out of gas.

2. Take time to reassess what is most important to you.
If the pandemic has taught us anything, it's that we have an opportunity to redefine what life and "normalcy" looks like. What do you want your life to look like? What is most important to you? I'm not saying up and quit your job and abandon responsibilities, but a key to resilience, mindfulness, and purposeful living is to align where you spend your time with what you say is most important to you.

3. Whatever success looks like for you, reverse engineer a path to get there. Success is more than a destination. Success is a collection of habits, strategic decisions, a way of living, and a routine. This approach allows you to slowly adopt habits that cultivate success and give up things that are undermining it. When you give your brain a destination, it subconsciously works backward to build the path to get there.

Stay tuned for some VERY exciting news! I can't wait to share it with you.

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Subscribe to the Anne Grady Group for more resilience-building tools and strategies! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU8s......

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Sign up for Anne's weekly Resilience Reset email list!
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More at https://www.annegradygroup.com​​​​
▶︎ Instagram: @AnneGradyGroup
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▶︎ Facebook: Anne Grady Group
▶︎ New Book + Companion Journal: https://www.annegradygroup.com/books/...

Having trouble making a change? Here's why...

We've all done it. We wake up one morning and announce that, starting now, we're going to get organized, lose weight, increase our savings, de-clutter our desk. We make an honest attempt to completely transform our lives. A few days later, we're back on the sofa in front of the TV, next to a pile of unfolded laundry eating a cheeseburger.

It's easy to make a big change initially, only to find ourselves right back where we started.

I want to introduce you to another idea to help make behavior change stick: micro-moments of mindfulness.

These moments add up and each time you practice, you're bringing your brain back to the present, which is expanding the gray matter density in your brain, helping you regulate emotions, focus, and hold your attention.

Baby steps still move us forward. Take time this week to practice micro-moments of mindfulness. It doesn't mean you have to sit in a full lotus and eat tofu (unless you're into that!). It simply means bringing yourself back to the present moment.

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Subscribe to the Anne Grady Group for more resilience-building tools and strategies! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU8s......

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Sign up for Anne's weekly Resilience Reset email list!
https://www.annegradygroup.com/strong...

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More at https://www.annegradygroup.com​​​​
▶︎ Instagram: @AnneGradyGroup
▶︎ Twitter: @AnneGradyGroup
▶︎ Facebook: Anne Grady Group
▶︎ New Book + Companion Journal: https://www.annegradygroup.com/books/...