Have you ever screwed up?  You probably spent a whole lot of time “shoulding on yourself”.  I should have….I could have….I wish I would have….

While it’s completely normal to beat yourself up a little when you make a mistake, too many times we go for a full blown knock out.

I have the privilege of speaking to groups around the country on topics ranging from communication and leadership to productivity and motivation.  Most of the time, when I walk off stage I feel really good about the presentation.  Then there are those rare times when, well, I just don’t feel like I nailed it.  I had one of those talks recently, and I definitely engaged in a little self-boxing.  Then, there was last weekend.  I left my thirteen-year-old cat out at night, and we found her the next morning in the field next to our house on Sunday.  Not a pretty picture.  Our family was devistated.  Wow, I definitely went for a knock out on that one.

Unfortunately, when we go down that path, we send ourselves all kinds of negative messages that end up being completely self-defeating.  We inadvertently sabotage our own success. The next time you start going to blows with yourself, call for an immediate time out.  Give yourself permission to have a mental review of the situation, figure out what you did wrong and what you could do differently next time, and LET IT GO.  Ruminating on it won’t change anything, and it will only make you feel worse.

We’re human.  We screw up.  The sun will still come up tomorrow.  Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend who made the same mistake, put down your boxing gloves and give yourself a break!  If all else fails, remember, it is what it is.


  1. Anne,
    Just want you to know I enjoy reading your blog posting. You always share from the heart and your real life experiences…keep up the great work!

  2. Anne,
    Thank you for today’s post. All I’ve read have been helpful; but this one is particularly insightful and on point.

  3. Hi Anne,

    Thanks for the continuous flow of wisdom. I appreciate hearing that even people I admire make mistakes. I am sorry about your cat though. That’s tough. I am a cat lover and have come home to a cat on the side of the road before. I’m sorry for your loss.

    It’s important to remember that even while we make mistakes, they are forgiveable. I am undergoing a big life change and soon I will be leaving this job due to a layoff. (I need to sign up for your weekly motivations with my other email. How do I do that?)

    I am going to think about what I would say to a friend going through what I am going through currently. Thanks for the advice.

  4. Sorry for the loss of your cat. Practicing on “letting things go” is not easy for me, but I’m working through it. Thank you for all the advice you give. Whether it’s for the job or just life in general, it’s always inspiring. Hugs!

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