Saying I’m Sorry

Saying I'm Sorry

Saying I’m Sorry

Well, we’re back from a wonderful vacation in the Northeast.  We were visiting family, and I have to admit, I was a bit nervous, as they have not spent a whole lot of time around Evan. Our immediate family has gotten used to his behavior and have learned to cope with it, but it can be a lot for someone who has never been around him to handle.  I must have apologized fifty times for different things, and that was only the first afternoon.  I finally relaxed and realized, it is what it is, and all I can do is all I can do.

But it did get me thinking about apologies in general.  If you’ve ever tried to give an apology, chances are, you’ve used these two simple words, “I’m sorry”.  If you’ve ever tried to accept an apology, I’m willing to bet that sometimes these two simple words just don’t cut it.

So often, apologies seem forced and insincere.  A few years ago, I watched the Randy Pausch interview with Oprah Winfrey.  Randy Pausch was the guy who gave The Last Lecuture at Carnegie Melon University after being diagnosed with Pancriatic Cancer.  He passed away in July of 2008.

Randy spoke of living your childhood dreams.  It’s a fantastic short video, and I’d highly recommend it.

In the video, Randy explained that one of the things we need to learn to do is apologize correctly.  A true apology, he explains, has three parts:

  1.  I’m Sorry
  2. I was wrong
  3. What can I do to make it right

When you think about the apologies you’ve gotten and given, do they contain these three elements?  It seems pretty simple, but I have found it is a great formula to demonstrate you are really taking ownership of your mistake.  It’s a powerful tool in helping build relationships.

We ended up having a fantastic time on vacation.  We went to the beach, the zoo, ate lobster, saw fireworks, and ate way too much.  Evan did amazingly well, and we are declaring our family vacation of 2012 a success.  Check out pictures of our vacation on Facebook!

Read that again. 🙌 ...

I played piano from the time I was four years old until the age of 15 and during that time, I had a lot of recitals. I remember being so nervous before each recital. What if I played the wrong note? What if I forgot the music? My dad would look at me, hold my hands, and say:

Whatever you do, DO NOT think of pink elephants!!

At the time, I had no idea why in the world he would say this. All I do know is that when I sat down to play, all I saw were pink elephants, and I was able to tackle my nerves.

Turns out my dad was helping me to practice the ironic process theory which explains that when we try to suppress our thoughts, we focus on them even more. Seventy to 80% of our thoughts are negative and repetitive. If not managed, intrusive thoughts can lead to anxiety, depression, and a whole host of mental health challenges.

If you tend to get stuck in rumination, or if your thoughts sometimes get the best of you, here are a few ways to take back control:

1️⃣ Recognize that your thoughts are not facts.
2️⃣ Use your brain. Do a math problem, practice a different language, or play a puzzle game. When you access the prefrontal cortex, the higher level thinking part of your brain, you get out of the emotional limbic system.
3️⃣ Distract yourself. Sometimes a simple distraction gives you enough distance to quiet your intrusive thoughts.
4️⃣ Practice mindfulness.
5️⃣ See a therapist. When negative, intrusive thoughts impact your ability to do your job, maintain relationships, or start clouding your judgment, it may be time to get help. As someone with plenty of intrusive thoughts, therapy has helped me tremendously.

Don’t forget, your thoughts and feelings are not facts. They are simply habits that need to be shifted. Be patient with yourself, and if all else fails, whatever you do, DO NOT THINK OF PINK ELEPHANTS!

Pets provide a deep sense connection and unconditional love. I don’t know what I’d do without without these two nut jobs! Happy National Love Your Pet Day! ❤️🐶 #mindfulmonday #mindfulness #petsnuggles #ilovemydogs #petsofinstagram #nationalloveyourpetday ...

I hope your Friday includes donuts. 🍩 ...

Midweek reminder: Reset your mindset. 🧠 ...

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Anne Grady is a Speaker, Author, and #TruthBomb Dropper.

Anne shares practical strategies that can be applied both personally and professionally to improve relationships, navigate change, and triumph over adversity. And she’ll make you laugh while she does it. Anne is a two time TEDx speaker, and her work has been featured in numerous media outlets, including Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Fast Company and Inc. magazines, CNN, ESPN, and FOX Business. She is the best selling author of 3 books. Her newest, Mind Over Moment: Harness the Power of Resilience, is available on Amazon now.


  1. There was a large space between your paragraphs, immediately after you said it’s a fantastic video and I highly recommend it, and then the next paragraph. Was there supposed to be a link to the video? If there was supposed to be a link could you send the link again?
    Glad you guys had a great vacation did all of you laugh at each other’s accents? When I was in elementary school we moved from Dayton, Ohio to Long Beach, CA. I was kidded about my Yankee accent. Then as an adult I moved to TX. everyone kept telling me to slow down, I talked too fast. It’s really cool that we sound so different just going from one area of the country to another.

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