Reality Check, We All Have Blind Spots
Reality Check, We All Have Blind Spots
Reality Check, We All Have Blind Spots
I was talking to someone last week after a presentation, and she said, “All this leadership and communication stuff is great, but it doesn’t really apply to me. Everyone likes me.”
That may be true sister, but let’s face it, you don’t know what you don’t know. We all have blind spots. A blind spot is a part of our personality or behavior that we’re not aware of, yet others can see it. And regardless of our intelligence, emotional or otherwise, we all have them.
If you want to continue to grow, personally or professionally, it helps to become more self-aware.
If you’re ready for a reality check and want to uncover your blind spots, try these suggestions:
- You have to want to know what your blind spots are. If you’re not ready to uncover them, that’s ok. Ignorance is bliss and sometimes we’re not in a place to “work” on our own issues. Give yourself permission not to worry about it until it’s something you can really focus on.
- If you do seek feedback, be prepared to listen without getting defensive. Ask questions and make statements, but don’t attack and don’t defend.
- Ask the people who know you and care about you to be honest and give you constructive feedback. Giving feedback is a risk, so be grateful if people are willing to give it.
- Pick one area and focus on it. Behavior changes one of three ways: rarely, slowly, or never. Don’t try to bite off more than you can chew. It will become overwhelming and nothing will change.
- Seek on-going feedback and make it safe for people to provide it. If you get defensive and argumentative, people will stop giving you feedback.
- Ask for positive, as well as constructive feedback. Ask others about your strengths and where they see you making progress.
- It’s a journey, not a destination. No matter how enlightened we are, we’ll always have some blind spots, and that’s ok. Continuously striving for progress is the goal.
How do you uncover your blind spots? Comment below!
I played piano from the time I was four years old until the age of 15 and during that time, I had a lot of recitals. I remember being so nervous before each recital. What if I played the wrong note? What if I forgot the music? My dad would look at me, hold my hands, and say:
Whatever you do, DO NOT think of pink elephants!!
At the time, I had no idea why in the world he would say this. All I do know is that when I sat down to play, all I saw were pink elephants, and I was able to tackle my nerves.
Turns out my dad was helping me to practice the ironic process theory which explains that when we try to suppress our thoughts, we focus on them even more. Seventy to 80% of our thoughts are negative and repetitive. If not managed, intrusive thoughts can lead to anxiety, depression, and a whole host of mental health challenges.
If you tend to get stuck in rumination, or if your thoughts sometimes get the best of you, here are a few ways to take back control:
1️⃣ Recognize that your thoughts are not facts.
2️⃣ Use your brain. Do a math problem, practice a different language, or play a puzzle game. When you access the prefrontal cortex, the higher level thinking part of your brain, you get out of the emotional limbic system.
3️⃣ Distract yourself. Sometimes a simple distraction gives you enough distance to quiet your intrusive thoughts.
4️⃣ Practice mindfulness.
5️⃣ See a therapist. When negative, intrusive thoughts impact your ability to do your job, maintain relationships, or start clouding your judgment, it may be time to get help. As someone with plenty of intrusive thoughts, therapy has helped me tremendously.
Don’t forget, your thoughts and feelings are not facts. They are simply habits that need to be shifted. Be patient with yourself, and if all else fails, whatever you do, DO NOT THINK OF PINK ELEPHANTS!

Anne Grady is a Speaker, Author, and #TruthBomb Dropper.
Anne shares practical strategies that can be applied both personally and professionally to improve relationships, navigate change, and triumph over adversity. And she’ll make you laugh while she does it. Anne is a two time TEDx speaker, and her work has been featured in numerous media outlets, including Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Fast Company and Inc. magazines, CNN, ESPN, and FOX Business. She is the best selling author of 52 Strategies for Life, Love & Work and Strong Enough: Choosing Courage, Resilience and Triumph.
“You don’t know what you don’t know. That is a great statement.
Great advice!! Had to share some feedback with a friend over the weekend regarding how he communicates with another person who he’d been complaining about. It was a minefield, but went really well (and he already knew what I was saying was true, so that helped a lot), but when carefully worded, it can be great for everyone involved.
Hi Val! Sounds like you did your friend a huge favor, and props to you for taking the time and risk to provide feedback!
Wow. That’s great. I always say, “sometimes I may say things you may not like, so I apologize in advance, but if I hurt your feelings, let me know.” We all have people that like us, but those that don’t may never say it. I loved that statement ” you don’t know what you don’t know.” Thank you Anne! That was great.
Thanks, Juanita! I like the way you preface giving feedback. Great idea.