Last week while stopped at a red light, there was a man with a sign asking for money. We’ve all seen these folks, and there signs usually read, “Will work for food” or “Hungry, please help”. This gentleman’s sign was different. His sign read, “Road Rage? Yell At A Homeless Guy! 50 cents O.B.O.!” I actually laughed out loud. I rolled down my window, shook his hand, and gave him a dollar. I typically give a bottle of water or a granola bar, but I figured that if he got me to laugh out loud, he earned it.
Whether it is a sign, a request, or an everyday conversation, the way we say something is often far more important than what we actually say. While this certainly sounds like common sense, it’s definitely not common practice. If we want results, we have to be conscious about the way we communicate.
For example, let’s say my boss asks me to do a task that I don’t have time to do. I have a couple of options: I could say, “I’m already completely overloaded and stressed. I just can’t do it”
“Sure! I have a list of projects that I’m working on. Let me get it and you can help me determine where this task should go in order of priority.”
See the difference? One is complaining, victim mentality, and negative. The other is positive, solution-oriented, and involves the supervisor in helping to determine task priorities.
This concept holds true with our children, partners, family members, and friends as well. Sometimes, rather than being negative, the responses are passive aggressive, and in either case, they are not effective.
So this week, I am going to hold a competition for a FREE behavior style assessment ($50 value)! This is a state-of-the-art behavioral assessment that describes an individual’s internal traits and behavioral tendencies. This assessment is an extremely powerful tool in terms of its ability to help the individual recognize their own strengths and needs. We use this tool all over the country to improve communication and help take teams to the next level. The assessment provides the following information:
- Individual Report – Individual strengths and opportunities for improvement in the areas of productivity, quality of work, initiative, teamwork, and problem solving
- Coaching Report – Specific coaching strategies for each individual
- Graphical Summary – Specific scores in each behavior style category
I’m going to list several statements that might be typical of ones that we would say. The competition will be for you to re-work the sentences to make the response positive, solution-oriented, and assertive. The person with the best responses will win the assessment. I will share the best responses and announce the winner in next week’s post!
How can you re-word these statements to make them more effective? Please send me your responses in a comment on the blog rather than emailing me directly.
- Why can’t you help around the house more?
- You said you would take care of this. It’s still not done?
- I don’t know why Bambi said that. She always gives the wrong information.
- What do you want me to do about it? It’s not even my job.
- Will you stop being so negative? You’re really bringing me down!
P.S. I just wanted to say THANK YOU again to everyone who donated, walked, and supported our efforts this year. Our team raised $3,105 and exceeded our goal! NAMI Austin raised, $174,281, and we’re hoping there are still donations trickling in so that we can meet our goal of $175,000.
As of now, Evan has good moments and not so good moments. We are certainly better than we have been, but we are far from where we need to be. Unfortunately, there are just more questions than answers for his illness right now. Please continue to keep him in your prayers.
Thanks again for your continued support!