Be Where You Are When You’re There

Be Where You Are When You're There

Be Where You Are When You’re There

How many times do you catch yourself not being present?

Research shows we spend almost half of our time thinking about something other than what we are doing. And according to another study, 86% of smartphone users check their phones while talking with others.

About this time last year, I was on a plane getting ready to take off when the woman sitting next to me got a phone call. She answered and started FaceTiming with her two kids – loudly. Everybody within 10 rows could hear her conversation, some of them started looking annoyed, and I caught myself feeling the same way.

But then, as I listened to her conversation (because it was impossible not to) I realized she was completely focused on her kids. She said, “So tell me about your teacher.” And one of her kids replied: “She’s great, I really like her,” to which the mom responded, “Tell me why.”

People were getting annoyed with her because she was so loud, but I started thinking about how awesome it was that she cared about her kids’ day so much. She wasn’t just saying “uh-huh” like parents often do; she was genuinely curious. I realized I want to have more conversations like that (maybe just not that loudly while on an airplane).

So how can you be less “busy” and distracted and more present and focused in your relationships?

Here are 3 strategies to get started:

1. Grow your attention muscle with mindfulness.

Mindfulness simply means paying attention on purpose. Practicing mindfulness allows you to increase the grey matter density in your brain responsible for attention, focus, and emotional regulation. Studies show people who meditate in their 40s and 50s have the same grey matter density as people in their 20s and 30s. I realize this sounds simple, and for a long time, I thought it was hokey. What you are really doing is training your brain to control your attention, and remember, what you practice grows stronger. The goal of mindfulness is to bring yourself back to the present moment.

2. Make time for what matters.

As someone who is very career and goal-oriented, I have had to learn a very important lesson: Your eulogy and resume should not be the same thing. No one is going to stand over your grave and say, “She worked 80 hours a week. Hell yeah!” Building resilience requires that we take time to stop and pre-determine how we are going to invest our time. Invest is the operative word. Time is one of the few resources you can’t get back or make more of. Everyone has the same 86,400 seconds in a day, and if you aren’t deliberate about how you spend those moments, they will get filled with whatever is screaming the loudest for your attention.

What and who are your most important priorities? Does the way you spend your time reflect that?

3. Be where you are when you’re there.

We have a finite amount of attention, so it is important to be deliberate about where we focus it. Unfortunately, we tend to do the opposite. The entire basis for my book, Mind Over Moment: Harness the Power of Resilience, is the concept of being present. When you are truly present, you are both productive and engaged – focused on accomplishing the tasks before you and building and strengthening relationships. While it may be tempting to knock out an email at a red light or respond to that text while having a meal with a friend, practice being present. The more often you practice, the easier it gets. Because the truth is, you can decide how you want to live through every moment of your life. You make time for what’s most important to you.

When we practice these habits, beliefs, and behaviors, we empower ourselves to get beyond the moments that urgently trigger our brain to react; we allow ourselves to stop, take charge of our thoughts in the moment, and actually train our minds to be more resilient.

Stay brave and resilient,

Anne

Subscribe to Anne's Resilience Reset Email!

Anne breaks down the daily habits and skills needed to grow and cultivate RESILIENCE.

What emotion best describes what you have been feeling lately?

I ask this question in every session I facilitate. Typical answers include: Exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, irritable, frustrated, and the most common, burnt out.

If you are struggling with burnout, try this:

1️⃣ Make a list of all of the things causing you stress (include personal and professional stressors). Divide the list into two columns: Things I can control/Things I cannot control. From the list of things you can control, identify one action you can take to move the ball forward.

2️⃣ Have honest conversations. One-third of all people globally have struggled with anxiety and/or depression since the beginning of the pandemic. People are undoubtedly not fine and feeling like we should be makes things even worse. Guess what? It’s okay not to be fine. Talk with friends and family about how you are really doing. It makes it safe for them to do the same.

3️⃣ Renew your sense of purpose. Respondents in a recent @harvard_business_review survey said that feeling a sense of purpose helped defend against burnout at work. In fact, burnout scores declined as purpose scores increased. It is much harder to feel defeated when you have a deep sense of meaning for what you are working toward.

Take time this week to create clear boundaries, make time for self-care, and recharge your mental and emotional battery. #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #burnout #stress #emotions #resilience
...

Far too many of us are struggling with very real concerns: our health (physical and mental), the health of our loved ones, our finances, the economy, our kids’ education—there’s no shortage of stress and worry to occupy our every waking moment.

It is in times like this that the strategies I teach for a living are needed more than ever. They are a lifeline.

May is #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth and I want to give you three simple ways you can improve your mental health, build resilience, and protect your peace. More in the link 👇.
https://www.annegradygroup.com/protect-your-peace/
#resilience #mentalhealthawareness #mentalwellbeing #resources #nami #youarenotalone #mindovermoment
...

#ThrowbackThursday to when I got to speak with @malcolmgladwell!!

Thank you to @conferencesforwomen for the opportunity to attend your #WorkplaceSummit today and listen to him address the dramatic changes in the world of work. He said, "As a leader, what may have worked before may not be what works now or in the future. We must adjust our leadership style to the moment we are living in." #futureofwork #mindfulleadership #growthmindset #adapt #grow #malcolmgladwell
...

When was the last time the sh*t hit your fan?

It's natural when faced with an overwhelming situation to feel defeated, but people who practice resilience learn to see the situation a bit differently. They look at the problem and say:

What is this teaching me?
What can I learn from this?

It might not feel like it at the time, but when you make it through a difficult event, you learn something – it’s called post-traumatic growth. Growth and comfort don’t exist in the same place. Choose growth anyway. #resilience #growth #posttraumaticgrowth #failure #mindset #personaldevelopment #tedx #tedxspeaker
...

Read Up on Resilience!

Anne’s Books Available on Amazon.com!

ANNE GRADY IS A SPEAKER, AUTHOR, AND #TRUTHBOMB DROPPER!

Anne Grady is a Speaker, Author, and #TruthBomb Dropper.

Anne shares practical strategies that can be applied both personally and professionally to improve relationships, navigate change, and triumph over adversity. And she’ll make you laugh while she does it. Anne is a two time TEDx speaker, and her work has been featured in numerous media outlets, including Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Fast Company and Inc. magazines, CNN, ESPN, and FOX Business. She is the best selling author of 3 books. Her newest, Mind Over Moment: Harness the Power of Resilience, is available on Amazon now.

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Be Where You Are When You’re There

Be Where You Are When You're There

Be Where You Are When You’re There

Subscribe to Anne's #RoutineResilience Email!

Anne breaks down the daily habits and skills needed to grow and cultivate RESILIENCE.

What emotion best describes what you have been feeling lately?

I ask this question in every session I facilitate. Typical answers include: Exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, irritable, frustrated, and the most common, burnt out.

If you are struggling with burnout, try this:

1️⃣ Make a list of all of the things causing you stress (include personal and professional stressors). Divide the list into two columns: Things I can control/Things I cannot control. From the list of things you can control, identify one action you can take to move the ball forward.

2️⃣ Have honest conversations. One-third of all people globally have struggled with anxiety and/or depression since the beginning of the pandemic. People are undoubtedly not fine and feeling like we should be makes things even worse. Guess what? It’s okay not to be fine. Talk with friends and family about how you are really doing. It makes it safe for them to do the same.

3️⃣ Renew your sense of purpose. Respondents in a recent @harvard_business_review survey said that feeling a sense of purpose helped defend against burnout at work. In fact, burnout scores declined as purpose scores increased. It is much harder to feel defeated when you have a deep sense of meaning for what you are working toward.

Take time this week to create clear boundaries, make time for self-care, and recharge your mental and emotional battery. #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #burnout #stress #emotions #resilience
...

Far too many of us are struggling with very real concerns: our health (physical and mental), the health of our loved ones, our finances, the economy, our kids’ education—there’s no shortage of stress and worry to occupy our every waking moment.

It is in times like this that the strategies I teach for a living are needed more than ever. They are a lifeline.

May is #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth and I want to give you three simple ways you can improve your mental health, build resilience, and protect your peace. More in the link 👇.
https://www.annegradygroup.com/protect-your-peace/
#resilience #mentalhealthawareness #mentalwellbeing #resources #nami #youarenotalone #mindovermoment
...

#ThrowbackThursday to when I got to speak with @malcolmgladwell!!

Thank you to @conferencesforwomen for the opportunity to attend your #WorkplaceSummit today and listen to him address the dramatic changes in the world of work. He said, "As a leader, what may have worked before may not be what works now or in the future. We must adjust our leadership style to the moment we are living in." #futureofwork #mindfulleadership #growthmindset #adapt #grow #malcolmgladwell
...

When was the last time the sh*t hit your fan?

It's natural when faced with an overwhelming situation to feel defeated, but people who practice resilience learn to see the situation a bit differently. They look at the problem and say:

What is this teaching me?
What can I learn from this?

It might not feel like it at the time, but when you make it through a difficult event, you learn something – it’s called post-traumatic growth. Growth and comfort don’t exist in the same place. Choose growth anyway. #resilience #growth #posttraumaticgrowth #failure #mindset #personaldevelopment #tedx #tedxspeaker
...

ANNE GRADY IS A SPEAKER, AUTHOR, AND #TRUTHBOMB DROPPER!

Anne Grady is a Speaker, Author, and #TruthBomb Dropper.

Anne shares practical strategies that can be applied both personally and professionally to improve relationships, navigate change, and triumph over adversity. And she’ll make you laugh while she does it. Anne is a two time TEDx speaker, and her work has been featured in numerous media outlets, including Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Fast Company and Inc. magazines, CNN, ESPN, and FOX Business. She is the best selling author of 52 Strategies for Life, Love & Work and Strong Enough: Choosing Courage, Resilience and Triumph.

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