Over 85% of our personal and financial success stems not from our technical skills, but from our ability to have positive interpersonal relationships.

Whether it’s with a colleague, customer, spouse, boss, friend, or family member, chances are, you’ve had a misunderstanding with someone at one point or another.  I generally find that the root cause of most communication, relationship and team problems share a couple of common denominators…differing perspectives and miscommunication.

While there’s no way to completely eliminate misunderstandings, there are absolutely ways to minimize them.  Try these techniques to help develop resilient relationships:

1. Use the magic of behavior styles.

Your behavior style impacts the way you manage stress, deal with conflict, and so much more. Identifying the characteristics of each style, and being willing to modify your own, is one of the best “communication hacks” I’ve ever learned. Want to know your style?

2. Aim for conflict, not combat.

Conflict occurs when people don’t see eye to eye about an issue, situation, or goal. Combat, on the other hand, is when conflict becomes personal. Ask yourself this question: “Is it more important for me to be right or to get it right?”

3. Focus on Gratitude

We tend to get frustrated when people don’t meet our expectations when, in reality, most of the time we haven’t even clearly communicated what our expectations are. Look for what people do right. It’s hard to resent someone when you are appreciating them.

Remember, it is up to you to set and communicate expectations. Every time you find yourself getting frustrated with someone this week, ask yourself if you set clear expectations and communicated with them effectively. If not, take a deep breath, step back, and try again.

For more on how to improve your relationships, check out my book 52 Strategies for Life, Love & Work: Transforming your life one week at a time.

-Anne

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